Husband, Your Wife Needs Financial Stability.

Gentlemen, please permit me to explore a touchy subject. It has to do with your wife and her job. In terms of providing for the family, I put that responsibility solely on the man in the relationship. Why? Because as MEN, that’s what we do. We ACCOMPLISH things and we BUILD things and we stay on top of things. At least we SHOULD be doing that right?

Your wife looks to you to provide the basic necessities of food, clothing, shelter, utilities, transportation, and a little excitement and fun. If you can do that, then your wife will be able to make the house into a home, raise happy kids, entertain friends and guests, and enrich the lives of everyone around her including you. However, if your wife has to help provide the basic necessities of life as well, then she cannot do these things.  At best, she may not be able to devote any energy into the home or to your marriage, and at worst, she may resent you BIG TIME.

Consider these scenarios:

1) A husband got laid off from his job and is on unemployment.  Meanwhile his wife is working two part time jobs.  She comes home from her 2nd job, then cooks, cleans, and gives the kids a bath.  Over the weekend she’s got the kids with her as she shops for groceries and runs errands.  On her way home she’s thinking, “Is this all there is??”

2) Another man works 40 hours a week and when he gets home each day, he see his wife for 20 minutes, then she’s off to work.  He puts a TV dinner in the microwave and starts heating it up.  Then he sits down at the home projector screen and watches some TV.  When his wife gets home from her job, he’s fast asleep in the Lazy Boy recliner.

3) Yet another man works 60+ hours a week.  His wife doesn’t work, but she spends her week chauffeuring the kids around to various soccer games and dance recitals.  On the weekends his kids say to him, “Can I have some money?” and his wife is spending time at the salon.  He thinks to himself, “What am I, an ATM?”

All three of the above scenarios have one thing in common: A lack of balance and no focus on what’s important in life.

The first guy is SURE to have some major resentment against him from his wife.  Because he doesn’t do ANYTHING.  If he can’t find a job, the LEAST he could do is help around the house or watch the kids or do the grocery shopping.  He has forgotten that financial stability is something he needs to provide FOR his wife.

The second couple is also in trouble, they both work to pay for their nice house and their awesome furniture and entertainment systems, but they don’t have time for each other.  Stuff does not bring happiness, so having both spouses working to pay for STUFF will not lead to a happy marriage.

The third man is flat out being USED.  He’s done too much of the PROVIDING that there is no QUALITY TIME with anyone.

So where is this balance found?

The balance is found in living below your means.  It is the MAN working to provide the basic necessities of life, plus a little extra to have some family fun.  It is the WOMAN nurturing the relationships and making the home a comfortable place for everyone.  When these things are not in balance, we see the following symptoms:

1) The man loses self esteem because he’s not providing at a level he should be.

2) The woman feels fear because the house and home are vulnerable to financial ups and downs.

3) The woman resents and does not respect a man who cannot provide for her.

4) The man and the woman are chasing happiness by going after material things.

5) The man and the woman have no time for each other.

Please don’t get me wrong.  I am not against your wife working.  I DO believe, however, that it should be her choice to work because she WANTS to and not because she HAS to.  All the money the man makes should pay for bills, food, and a little fun.  The money a wife makes, if she makes any at all, should be gravy.  The thing to remember is that a wife who works should always have the opportunity to QUIT working and raise children if life calls her to do that.

Did I ruffle any feathers?  Please let me know if you agree or disagree.  I appreciate your comments!

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Financial Infidelity in Marriage

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been guilty of FINANCIAL INFIDELITY… do you see mine up? YEP. In some form or fashion, we’ve ALL done it.

Here’s the deal.. Financial Infidelity shows up in BIG ways.. and in some small, subtle ways. See if any of these resonate with you.

- A husband JUST finds out that his wife of 5 years has debts from BEFORE they were married, and he NEVER knew about it.
- A wife tells hers kids, “don’t tell daddy about ____”, as she buys them yet ANOTHER toy after her and her husband agreed that the kids have WAAAY too many.
- A husband eats out with his coworkers daily… but his wife thinks he eats out once a week.
- A wife brings home a free puppy or kitten without talking it over with her husband.. It’s cute, but you gotta FEED it!
- A husband tears up the bathroom on a whim with a sledgehammer and starts a big remodeling project, but it wasn’t a planned expense.
- A wife has a closet full of clothes and shoes she purchased without her husbands knowledge.
- A husband, knowing that money is tight, says yes to a trip across the state because he can’t say NO to his wife. He puts on a facade that “Everythings ok” when he knows that they are behind in the bills.

These were just a few examples.. but all are very REAL circumstances that I’ve either witnessed or been a part of. I’ve also used the terms Husbands and Wives a lot in these examples.. because married partners should be 100% accountable to each other. Each time one spouse tells a little white lie, makes a hidden purchase, or buys something without speaking to the other, it UNDERMINES the relationship. If you’re single.. the only person you’re really accountable to is yourself, however once you tie the knot, your finances and your credit will be co-mingled with your spouse. I don’t mean to scare the engaged couple.. after all, two heads are better than one and when you make decisions together, you do it to benefit the both of you.

If you’re currently committing Financial Infidelity.. you may be closing off the person who can help you the most… your SPOUSE!

The wife, who had debt before she got married, it all blew up when she couldn’t pay those “Hidden” bills. When her husband found out.. was he mad? Absolutely.. but then he asked…”Why didn’t you let me know you were in over your head?”. Now he is working to help her pay down the debt.

Who are you hurting the most? Why… it’s YOU!

If you’re married…sit down with your spouse regularly and go over all your finances. Adopt a policy of FULL DISCLOSURE will all your purchases. Then set some goals and work on them together. Accomplishing goals as a partnership will bond you closer together and it is a beautiful thing.

If you’re engaged…make plans to mingle your finances together after you get married and make sure you are BOTH involved in the decision making process. When one spouse controls all the money… it becomes way to tempting to make a hidden purchase here or there while the other has to ASK for money.. this is not wise. All accounts, passwords, bills, and expenses should be shared.

Should each of you have SOME money that you can spend without being accountable? A small amount is fine.. but be careful.. if it causes resentment in your spouse.. you may want to rethink that. I know someone who always spent HIS money on games… and she was spending HER money on HIM.. does that seem fair?

Best thing to do, right now.. it to start being HONEST with your partner. Don’t make big decisions by yourself. Don’t start new projects that cost money without your confidante’s support. Don’t keep your partner in the dark either… if you know something bad is coming (like a potential layoff), don’t let your partner get blindsided by the news or be told by someone else.

Finally, be honest with yourself.

Your comments are welcome!

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Why do Credit Cards Cost More than Bank Loans? [Podcast]

Suppose I have an $8000 credit card and an $8000 bank loan. They both have the same interest rate of 14.4% AND they both have the same payment of $220.

You would think that these two loans would get paid off at the same time, but that would be very wrong.

By the time you pay of Credit Card, you’ll have spent $3300 more in interest than you would have using the bank loan.

WHY IS THAT?

- Is it because credit cards are more convenient?
- Is it because credit cards are revolving loans?

So lets explore…

Most people are aware that when you take the more convenient choice… you pay more. It’s more convenient to go to a gas station than it is to visit the grocery store, but the prices are almost double for the items there. Whenever you shorten the length of time to do something, you pay a premium to do so.

So what makes a credit card more convenient than a bank loan? Well… it’s an easier application process for one. You fill out a pamphlet and give it to the bank teller, or you do it all online. Then you get your answer in the mail. Applying for a bank loan is not convenient at all. You have to go to the bank and sit with the loan officer and if feels like begging.

With a bank loan, once you pay it down, you can’t just borrow more money unless you go through the loan process again to get another loan. With a credit card on the other hand, you can pay it down and charge it up again without every having to apply.

This is called revolving credit. You can pay down and charge up your credit line. You can borrow, repay, borrow again, and repay as often as you like without the hassle of creating new paperwork. Revolving credit is a cool idea and it’s a convenient idea, but it is a COSTLY idea!

Here’s why:

A bank loan has a fixed payment schedule. In the case of the loan above, an $8000 balance will take 48 months to payoff with a payment of $220 and an interest rate of 14.4%.

The credit card with the same numbers will have a payment of $220 as well, but ONLY for the first month! The second bill has a payment of $217 and the third bill has a payment of $214.

It’s called a Decreasing Minimum Payment. Because you pay less and less each month, it takes you longer to pay off the bill AND it costs you more money in all. In fact, this loan will take 202 months to pay off and costs $3300 more in interest charges. This is true even if you are never late and interest rates never go up.

This is a big problem with an easy solution. You can pay off a credit card just as if it was a bank loan simply by keeping your payments the same each month. Whatever you are paying today, just keep paying it until your balance is $0. It helps to pay more when you can… but definitely DO NOT just pay the minimum payment they send you. Minimum payments are ineffective and do not put a dent into your balance.

With this strategy, you can pay off your credit cards faster and save a lot of money.

For a more comprehensive look at this subject please check out this report:
Credit Card vs. Bank Loan

Also… the strategies listed in this article and in the report are just a FEW of the strategies included in the Debt Elimination Engine found here:
www.DebtFreeInnerCircle.com

And finally… here is my Debut Podcast on iTunes. Feel free to comment below.

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